dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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