yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
