Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
