Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
