I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
