You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
