haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am midnight drunk by noon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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