Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize