i barfeds in our rink
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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