I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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