You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
