Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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