we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, beer. Big fan.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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