So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
