It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We're too hungover to prance.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
