So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
