RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
