Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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