At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
