OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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