I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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