I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
