well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
