and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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