I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
