Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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