yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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