Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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