i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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