hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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