Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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