he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my shit smells like andre
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
A+ Viking dick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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