my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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