No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
