I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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