idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
