I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
