Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
