"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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