he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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