I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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