It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
