On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
