just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I want to fling myself into the sun
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
