I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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