Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
