I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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