we made out on top of his cat.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
