shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
