I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
