ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
