me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
