Sponge bath it is.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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