and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
