I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
