Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
