I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
