she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think people are normalizing furries
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
