I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
