the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
