We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize