Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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