there's paper in my vomit.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize