So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
