If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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