I just saw a hot homeless man
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
