he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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