My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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