if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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