Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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