i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
